Are you finding yourself saying things like:
‘I am just going to see what happens during my birth’
‘We are just going to wing it’
‘I don’t want to make any kind of plan because I don’t want to be left feeling disappointed if it doesn’t work out that way’
‘I am just hoping for the best, the experts will know what to do’
This, my friend, is what we call a ‘Go With the Flow’ attitude and as much as I love your lax vibes, this attitude can be detrimental to your experience.
1) If you are a passive participant in your birth this leaves room for SOMEONE ELSE to step in, control your experience and make decisions FOR you. You’re putting your birth in the hands of someone else!
2) You may feel it is unnecessary to educate yourself and therefore miss out on information that may make the world of different to your experience. Something as simple as knowing you can say NO to a vaginal examination could make your experience more peaceful as opposed to invasive, perhaps.
3) Health Care Providers or ‘the experts’ cannot/will not always make decisions that are in YOUR best interest. I know it’s confronting to hear, but they have their own experiences, trauma and biases that dictate the way they make decisions. They probably know little about your experiences to, therefore they are unaware of how their decisions about your birth will affect you. They may base their decisions around what works best for MOST people…but what if you aren’t MOST people?
My mum always tells me the story of when she went for a check-up while pregnant with my sister. As she was strapped to the CTG machine she overheard a doctor talking about a woman who was quite distressed at the end of her pregnancy. The doctor said “let’s just induce her now, then I’ll be able to make my golf game tomorrow morning”.
Now who knows how that woman’s birth turned out, but I would bet that she had a typical induction that resulted in the cascade of interventions (watch my IGTV ‘Cascade of interventions with induction) all because DR._____ wanted to play a game of golf? Where is the consideration of how she is going to feel after a birth like that, the affects on her mental health and the impacts that birth may have on her baby?
But isn’t creating a Birth Plan trying to control something that is ultimately out of our control?
A birth plan is not about being fixated on a certain outcome. It is about working towards your ideal birth WHILE preparing for any roadblocks you might come up against and having a plan B,C & D.
Even more importantly, include how you want to FEEL in your birth plan because this is what CAN be maintained throughout your birth – no matter the outcome.
How do I want to FEEL during labour?
How do I want to FEEL when I am birthing my baby?
How do I want to be TREATED during labour/birth/postpartum?
How do I want my team to support me?
How do I want the space to feel that I am birthing in?
Taking ownership and responsibility for your birth will reduce the likelihood of asking questions like ‘what if I had of said ____ maybe things would have been different’ or ‘if I had of know x,y,z I would have chosen that option instead’.
If it is YOU calling the shots you are less likely to be DISAPPOINTED.